Stress
Find out why we get stressed and what you can do to help manage it.
Not all stress is bad. Sometimes it can help us to manage challenge (like focusing for an exam). But there are moments when it makes things more difficult or seems overwhelming.
There’s no need to worry about feeling stressed. There are easy ways to manage these emotions.
What causes stress?
Stressful situations prompt a fight or flight response. This is where we either challenge or run away from a perceived threat. Our bodies release the hormones cortisol and adrenaline (vital when we’re in danger). Usually, we feel stressed when we don’t think we can cope with something. This could be struggling with schoolwork, falling out with friends, or a particularly big change in your life.
What are the signs of stress?
Physical reactions often give us the first clue that someone is feeling stressed. This can include tiredness, headaches or an upset stomach. You may also behave differently. For example, you might:
- Be tired
- Seem anxious or depressed
- Have difficulty concentrating
- Doubt your abilities to cope with certain things
- Blame and punish others or yourself
How can I manage stress in a healthy way?
Check in with a parent, carer or trusted adult to talk about how you’re doing. Talk to them about your concern. Together, you can:
- Try to identify the cause. Are you going through change or pressure in your life?
- Set realistic goals and expectations
- Remember to value yourself
- See uncertainty as part of life, rather than something to worry about
- Notice what activities you find relaxing and use these to wind down
Expand the boxes to discover our tricks for managing stress.
Useful for finding feelings of calm. Adding this exercise into your daily routine can help in times of stress.
- Slow down the breath. Take four or five seconds for an in-breath, hold for a moment, then four to five seconds for the out-breath.
- Focus the attention on sensation of slowing – slowing down the body, slowing down the mind.
- Try this for between 30 seconds and one minute several times per day.
Useful for understanding how to respond to stressful situations. No one can feel calm all the time. But we can work on reacting to stressful events in a balanced way. Try using the following activity, which looks at how different states of mind (emotional, reasonable, and wise) influence us.
- Our emotional mind uses energy levels, feelings and psychological need to guide us.
- Our reasonable mind uses logic.
- The third state, the wise mind, is more balanced. This is when we bring emotion and logic together to decide the best course of action.
Both emotion and logic have an important place in our lives. But when we feel stressed, our emotions can take over. You can do the following exercise with a parent, carer or trusted adult. Together, you can:
- Talk about the different states of mind
- Try to spot when you’re in an emotional state and consider the rational side of things as well. Try working through a recent situation where you've felt stressed and ask if there is another viewpoint.
- Think how you can respond to a situation in a way that acknowledges both your emotional and your reasonable minds.
Useful for distracting from stressful thoughts. Try taking a walk outside when you face a stressful situation. Leave any technology behind and focus on your surroundings. What do you see, smell, hear and touch? How does this make you feel? If stressful thoughts return, that’s OK. Take a moment to feel it before returning your focus to what’s around you. The process should help move your attention away from the cause of stress.